Am now on the way home with the children who cranked the begging up to maximum in order to get a bag of extreme goldfish for the ride back. I agreed under the express clarification that I was not purchasing drinks on the way home EVEN though I was personally guaranteeing that they would be dying of thirst approximately 9 seconds after they opened the bag.
Pulling into Staples parking lot when Rhyme suddenly becomes aware that she is, in fact, dying of thirst. I advised her that there is water at home and that this just proves that I am, in fact, a genius.
To which BOTH of the children simultaneously say “Oh yeah?!?” and then launch into actual skill-testing questions.
After I got 1000 divided by 1000, 5 million plus 6 million and 12 million plus 1 million presumably correct (not sure what kind of answer key they are relying on here….) the five year old throws his hands up in the back and goes “COME on!!!!!!!”
I will take this one as a win. Even though I accept that this win may come with an acceptance of my children’s life limitations.
My Actual Life 