This is how “bedtime” works with my 5 year old.

I put him to bed around 7:30. Then the following sequence of events takes place:

1) He needs some water
2) The temperature of his room becomes suddenly and inexplicably unbearable
3) His sister remembers she has to go the bathroom
4) He remembers he has to go to the bathroom.
5) He loses some random object that must be found immediately or we are in crisis mode
6) Crisis mode
7) His sister suddenly becomes invested in knowing the schedule for the next day
8) He yells at his sister for talking because he is “trying to sleep”
9) He comes out of bed to ask if a shark could eat a dinosaur
10) He needs more water
11) Mommy screams from the couch “THAT IS ENOUGH!!!!! SHUT THE HELL UP AND GO TO SLEEEP RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD SOMEONE WILL DIE.”
12) Momentary silence. Repeat.

So basically. My kids go to bed at any point from 7:30pm until the wine runs out and I stop realizing that they are still awake.